The Day Madilyn Pooped On Mommy's Toe

It has become an evening ritual on the nights when I'm at work for me to call home and chat with Mandi and the kids. Not only because I miss the evening-family-life-type activities, but because it provides an opportunity for Mandi to catch her breath a bit, and for the kids to tell me about their respective days. We all have come to look forward to that call, but last night's call was a bit peculiar. After talking to Mandi and Kaedyn, Madilyn was eager to take her turn with the phone and tell Daddy the latest in her adventures. As she excitedly rambled on, she began to tell me about something that had occurred in the bathroom, and I swear I thought she told me that she had "pooped on Mommy's toe." When I asked her to repeat herself, she said the exact same thing, to which I responded, "I see." In reality, I had no idea what she was telling me because I knew in my soul of souls there was not a chance she had actually said what I had heard her to say. The conversation went on for a few seconds longer, and Madilyn eventually handed the phone back to Mandi.

Mandi and I began chatting, and she asked me if Madilyn had told me that she had pooped on Mandi's toe. I said, "yes, but I assume that's not what she was trying to say. So, what is it that she is trying to tell me?" To my shock and utter amazement, Mandi informed me that I had heard exactly right - Madilyn really had pooped on Mandi's toe. Well, sort of. What really happened boiled down to a potty-training catastrophe. Madilyn had pooped in her pants, unbeknownst to Mandi. When Madilyn and Mandi went into the bathroom at Madilyn's appointed pottying hour, Mandi dutifully tried to help Madilyn take her pants down and as she did so, the previously mentioned poop fell out of Madilyn's underwear and onto Mandi's toe. Madilyn spent the rest of the evening talking about how she had pooped on Mommy's toe. Gotta love it! But the story doesn't end there, at least not for me.

Now, I realize that a turd landing on one's toe is certainly not an everyday-type occurrence. I would even go so far as to say it's probably not an event most people experience in an entire lifetime. Based upon these assumptions, I cannot for one second claim to really know how one might react in such a situation. However, I can venture an educated guess that the immediate thought would be to get the blasted defecation off one's damn toe! Not my wife, though. No, her immediate thought was that if she flicked the dung off her toe, she would only do herself a disservice because she would then have a spot on the carpet to have to clean. With that thought in mind, she proceeded to balance the poop on her toe as she reached for a Clorox wipe which would allow her to diffuse the situation. She attained the wipe successfully without losing the turd, removed it from her toe, and life went on.

The Day Madilyn Pooped On Mommy's Toe will live on in infamy, and most-likely has earned a spot both in our long-term memories, and in Madilyn's baby book. Care to share any poop-related stories of your own, childhood or otherwise? Now, this topic has the potential to get really messy, so to speak. So please, feel free to share, but try to keep it somewhat, uh, respectable. Thanks!