Training: Evolution

It has taken me awhile to find the courage to write this particular post, mostly because I have spent the last couple of weeks wrestling with disappointment and frustration. If you weren't already aware, I injured my Achilles tendon during a training run several days ago and have worked diligently to condition it back to the point of being able to handle long runs, and ultimately, the marathon. Both my physical therapist and I thought we were making good progress with the aggressive treatment, but I attempted another long run about a week after the original injury, and only made it about five miles before having to walk again. To make a long story short, I never had another opportunity to get a long run in again before needing to wind down for the marathon, which is this Sunday. It became painfully evident that this particular marathon was not in my future, so I made the difficult decision of bowing out.

As mentioned, the entire chain of events is disappointing as the ultimate goal will not be reached. At least not this time. At first, I stewed and fretted, fretted and stewed over all of the hard work I had put in that was now being flushed down the toilet. Weeks and weeks of running in the bitter cold, snow, wind, and rain just to make sure all of the training miles were achieved. And nothing to show for it. But, once I pulled my head out of my you-know-what, I began to realize just how much I can take away from this entire experience. Here's just the beginning of the list:

• I have kick-started my weight-loss once again, and am down nearly twenty pounds since beginning the training in January. I will see to it that this continues, which will only help my efforts should I decide to run a marathon again.
• I have physically done more than I ever thought possible.
• I have discovered how much the physical body, when pushed, will succumb to the brains mental toughness.
• While it might sound cheesy, I have learned that I can do whatever I want if only I will give myself the proper chance and effort.

What I am most proud of, though, is the inspiration I have provided to others through my efforts. Two of my coworkers followed my lead and began training several weeks ago to run the half-marathon. And, when my brother learned that I had made the decision to tackle the marathon, he chose to train and run with me. While I am saddened that we will not be running together on Sunday, I am incredibly proud of him and I will be at the starting line to cheer him on, and at the finish line to welcome him home.

As you can see, I have chosen to focus on what I have taken from this experience instead of what I haven't. I am a better person for it, I believe, and I will continue to push forward and consider another marathon in the future. Thanks to all who have supported me with their words, thoughts, and prayers! I know I wouldn't have made it as far as I did without you. And finally, to my dear brother Chris: Godspeed on your journey in a few days! I love you, and can't wait to watch you cross the finish line!!

Training: Hope

There is hope for my chances of running the marathon, and thankfully, lots of it. As mentioned in my last post, I headed to the doctor on Tuesday afternoon for an assessment of my injured Achilles tendon. By the time I got there, I wasn't so much worried about the pain, as there was just a lingering dull ache. Nothing excruciating. However, there was definitely an odd feeling to the tendon as it sort of felt like bubble wrap underneath my skin when I flexed it. I know, a terrible description, but I'm not entirely sure how else to describe it.

The doctor said I had definitely tweaked it, and the weird feeling was from fluid buildup around the tendon. He told me I needed to back off the miles I was running, to which I argued that I was training for the marathon and couldn't much afford to back off. And then the doctor pretty much put the fear of God into me by telling me what I had to look forward to should I rupture the tendon by pushing too hard. Surgery, rehab, and out for six-to-twelve months. And even that would not guarantee I would get the tendon back to it's original strength. Okay, backing off.

I was prescribed some anti-inflammatory pills and a couple of weeks of aggressive physical therapy, meaning the doctor wasn't completely ruling out the possibility of still running the marathon. I had my first round of therapy this morning, and am very much encouraged by the prognosis. The therapist indicated he thought I would be able to go through with it, as long as the tendon responds well. He wants to see me again tomorrow morning, and then on Monday and Wednesday of next week. While I do have to back off the mileage, he thought I should be able to get back to a long run my mid-week next week. Again, all of this assuming that I respond well to the therapy.

So, I'm keeping my hopes up and my fingers crossed, and continuing to pray about it all. While I will have to do some reconfiguring of my training schedule, I really think I'll be able to get back to proper shape before the marathon, and can be successful at it. To all of you who have supported, encouraged, prayed for, and sent positive thoughts my way - THANK YOU!! It has meant so much to me, and has helped me to keep my head up and continue to press forward. I know I would not be where I am in the training without your help. I will continue to keep you updated as to how things progress from here.

Training: Gulp!

First of all, yes, I am still amongst the living. I know it's been way too long since the last time I posted and honestly, I feel horrible about it. I had intended on journaling via my blog throughout my training, but have been lax about it. I won't make any excuses, not because I don't have them, but rather because I don't want to bore you.

To catch up with training, the last few weeks have been a bit rough. The shorter runs are fantastic, but the long run of the week has proven to be a challenge. I have been continually frustrated by the longer distances, and while I would like to blame it on the weather, if I'm being honest with myself, it's probably more of a lack of mental toughness. And now, fast-forward to yesterday.

Yesterday was my long run of the week, which was 18 miles. That is the longest distance I will run before the marathon itself, I and I'm scheduled to run that distance three times before tapering off and beginning final preparations. After the last few weeks, yesterday's 18 miles intimidated the heck out of me. But I spent some extra moments of silence and quiet reflection before beginning the run. I talked to God, prayed, and really dug down deep in terms of why I had begun this adventure in the first place. In terms of weather yesterday, it was incredibly windy and cold. 30-35 mph gusts of wind greeted me as I began. Nevertheless, as I set out on the run, it was shaping up to be one of the best runs I've had. I felt strong, my legs were churning right along, and my entire body felt more in sync and physically able than ever before. I had a smile on my face as I completed mile after mile with little problem.

And then the unthinkable happened. With about six miles left, I felt an unfamiliar, and undesirable pull in my left Achilles tendon, and then the pain set in. It crippled me enough that I could no longer run, and could walk only with a limp. I cannot describe the discouragement I felt as I was forced to walk the remaining six miles. All the weeks and days of training, and all of the effort I've put into preparing for the marathon ran through my head. The possibility of having to miss the crowning achievement brought me to tears.

So today, I wait. I am scheduled to see the doctor this afternoon and will know more after that appointment. In the meantime, I am praying and hoping for the best, but admittedly fearing the worst.