The Granddaddy of Them All

I hate shopping. In fact, I despise it. I have absolutely no need to spend countless hours bouncing around shopping malls and department stores browsing through items I most likely don't need and probably couldn't afford anyway. Shopping, at least in the traditional sense, is torture. I'm the kind of person who knows exactly what I need, I go get it, I come home. Done. Nothing to it. You might, on occasion, find me browsing the power tools aisles at Menard's, but that's only when I have a few extra minutes to kill for some reason. I hate shopping.

All of that said, there are two very distinct situations in which I will engage in a traditional, stereotypical shopping trip: 1.) When my three-year-old-princess/daughter has me all to herself and requests to go to the store to look around. Because said princess has me wrapped around her little finger like a good little Daddy, I can't resist her big blue "pretty please" eyes whenever she decides a shopping trip is in order. Sigh. What can I say? 2.) Christmas is just around the corner, and Mandi and I have scheduled our annual shopping trip in which we spend one gigantic, long, huge, massive afternoon wiping our entire list of needed gifts. It's The Granddaddy Shopping Trip of Them All.

Today was the day for The Granddaddy. and Mandi and I were armed and ready. We were especially prepared because we decided at the beginning of this year to budget our savings contributions in order to accommodate Christmas, so there was no big dent in our checkbook, and no use of credit cards. Our mission began shortly before 1100 hours this morning when Grandma arrived to stay with the girls. Mandi and I hit the ground running, and our first stop was Toys R (I can't figure out how to make the 'R' a backwards one, like it's supposed to be) Us. It only took us about 80 minutes there, and everyone of the kids in the family was crossed off the list. Next stop: lunch. When engaged in such a massive operation, the only thing truly nourishing is a trip through the local Chinese buffet. And so it was for us, although after eating so healthy over the course of the last year, it wasn't quite as tasty. Nevertheless, it served us well, and at approximately 1300 hours we were off to Office Depot to find some holiday stationary on which to print our Christmas letter. Mission accomplished.

We have been on the market for a new digital camera to replace the hand-me-down which recently went to its grave. Lo and behold, what should be right across the street from Office Depot but a Best Buy. Oh yeah, baby, we were on a roll! We walked out of Best Buy 37 minutes later as proud owners of a new digital camera, then decided it was high-time to head downtown and patronize the God-send of all ice cream shops, Coldstone. Mmmmmm....ice cream. After filling our bellies with ice cream, we ran to Wal-Mart to finish our shopping. Now this is where our trip really took a form of shopping art. We were up against the clock during this last leg because we had to pick up our son from school. All told, we had approximately 40 minutes to get in, get out, and head to the school. We strategized on the way there, and we each had our assignments. I dropped Mandi off at the front door so she could get a head start, and once I found a place to park, I was off. It was a beautiful plan, executed to perfection, right up until our checker decided to chat with us as she restocked her plastic bags at a painfully slow rate. A little urging from Mandi, though, and she stepped it up and got us out of the Evil Empire that is Wal-Mart. Mission completed at 1540 hours.

All told, it was a great day. Mandi and I spent some quality time together, enjoyed each other, and completed the daunting task of our Christmas shopping. And, I won't have to go shopping for a very, very long time. I think I still have that glazed look. I hate shopping.