We'll call it 11:36 a.m. officially. That was about the time yesterday's adoption hearing ended, and about the time Kaedyn became a Campbell and is from this day forward, legally considered my son. While the relationship between he and I has not, nor will not change, it is incredibly satisfying to now have all of the legal rights as a father. I no longer have to concern myself with the legal ramifications of trying to protect Kaedyn from his biological father. No more worries of being in contempt by not allowing court-ordered visitations. No more worries about who has what rights, legally and/or morally. It's very refreshing, and a wonderful feeling, and thanks to all of you who offered words of support and encouragement.
As far as the hearing itself, it was much easier and much quicker than we had anticipated. Per our attorney, we expected a line of questioning from the judge pertaining to the parental responsibility Andy (Kaedyn's bio-father) had displayed in recent months. Instead, he simply asked Kaedyn a few "small-talk" questions as he signed the papers, and that was that. Our attorney said nary a word, besides to thank the judge when the hearing ended. It all happened so quick, we found ourselves a bit dazed. Oh, and in case you hadn't figured it out, Andy did not appear yesterday. Which begs the question of whether or not he even knew the hearing was taking place. Doesn't matter now, I guess.
I'm certainly not ignorant enough to think we'll never have to deal with him again, as I'm sure the time will come when Andy will call or stop by with a desire to see Kaedyn. And, I'm certain there will come a time in the future, near or distant, when Kaedyn will express a desire to see Andy. Therein lies the challenge; we will go forward from here, but very carefully so as to remain open, understanding, and sensitive to Kaedyn's feelings about and toward Andy.
But for now, Kaedyn is legally my son as of 11:36 a.m. yesterday, which means I need to give that guy at the tobacco shop a call - going to need a box of "It's a Boy!" cigars!!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Court Hearing
This coming Tuesday has the potential to be quite the historical event in the life of the Campbell Clan. Our first court hearing, and the next step in the proceedings to adopt Kaedyn, is slated for Tuesday at 11:00 a.m. We hope it is the last hearing, as well.
To quickly update you, our attorney made a few attempts at contacting Kaedyn's biological father, Andy, to serve notice of the court hearing on Tuesday. He was unable to locate Andy after attempting several different possible addresses, so we moved to the next step of publishing a public notice. Still no response from Andy. This doesn't mean he did not see the notice, it just means he didn't respond. He still has the right to appear at Tuesday's hearing and contest the proceedings, and my guess is he will do just that if he is indeed aware the hearing is taking place.
We were visited by a guardian ad litem last Saturday, as per required procedure. The guardian's purpose was to visit with us and make sure we understand exactly what adopting Kaedyn means in terms of parental rights and responsibilities, and to make sure Kaedyn is completely comfortable and has a grasp of what we are doing, and why. The guardian seemed satisfied with his visit, and will recommend the adoption to the judge on Tuesday.
At this point, this whole thing can go one of two ways: first, and optimally, Andy does not show up at the hearing, we present our evidence for the adoption of Kaedyn, the judge approves, hearing over. Let the celebration begin! Or, second, Andy does show up, can't put his pride and therefore good judgement aside, argues against us and the adoption, the judge sets a trial date, and we prepare for a potentially long, drawn-out court battle against a person who, in my humble opinion, lost the right to be a father a very long time ago.
While scenario #2 above would be the more difficult path to have to follow, we are very confident in our evidence against Andy and have no reason to believe he would stand a chance to win. We are very quickly approaching a full year since he has had contact with Kaedyn. No phone calls, no letters, not even so much as an attempt at contact. Furthermore, we have received a whopping $60 in child support since last April. Laughable. The lack of contact and child support is the most compelling evidence against Andy, and would most-certainly bury him in the eyes of a judge, but we would still prefer not to even have to present that evidence in a court battle. My biggest reasoning for this is because I just don't want Kaedyn to have to be exposed to what will surely be an emotionally-charged proceeding. I have no doubts it could even get ugly at times, and my son has already been through enough. I pray, and I hope, it all ends Tuesday.
I will keep you posted, as always. I thank you for your thoughts, prayers, encouragement, and support. I ask you for more of the same as Tuesday approaches.
To quickly update you, our attorney made a few attempts at contacting Kaedyn's biological father, Andy, to serve notice of the court hearing on Tuesday. He was unable to locate Andy after attempting several different possible addresses, so we moved to the next step of publishing a public notice. Still no response from Andy. This doesn't mean he did not see the notice, it just means he didn't respond. He still has the right to appear at Tuesday's hearing and contest the proceedings, and my guess is he will do just that if he is indeed aware the hearing is taking place.
We were visited by a guardian ad litem last Saturday, as per required procedure. The guardian's purpose was to visit with us and make sure we understand exactly what adopting Kaedyn means in terms of parental rights and responsibilities, and to make sure Kaedyn is completely comfortable and has a grasp of what we are doing, and why. The guardian seemed satisfied with his visit, and will recommend the adoption to the judge on Tuesday.
At this point, this whole thing can go one of two ways: first, and optimally, Andy does not show up at the hearing, we present our evidence for the adoption of Kaedyn, the judge approves, hearing over. Let the celebration begin! Or, second, Andy does show up, can't put his pride and therefore good judgement aside, argues against us and the adoption, the judge sets a trial date, and we prepare for a potentially long, drawn-out court battle against a person who, in my humble opinion, lost the right to be a father a very long time ago.
While scenario #2 above would be the more difficult path to have to follow, we are very confident in our evidence against Andy and have no reason to believe he would stand a chance to win. We are very quickly approaching a full year since he has had contact with Kaedyn. No phone calls, no letters, not even so much as an attempt at contact. Furthermore, we have received a whopping $60 in child support since last April. Laughable. The lack of contact and child support is the most compelling evidence against Andy, and would most-certainly bury him in the eyes of a judge, but we would still prefer not to even have to present that evidence in a court battle. My biggest reasoning for this is because I just don't want Kaedyn to have to be exposed to what will surely be an emotionally-charged proceeding. I have no doubts it could even get ugly at times, and my son has already been through enough. I pray, and I hope, it all ends Tuesday.
I will keep you posted, as always. I thank you for your thoughts, prayers, encouragement, and support. I ask you for more of the same as Tuesday approaches.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Reflections of a Thirty-Six-Year-Old
Today marks the 36th anniversary of my birthday, and I put it that way for a number of reasons. I admit the underlying reason is most-likely due to my attendance at a workshop a few days ago, where I was introduced to some ideas on conflict resolution. The instructor was in the midst of a discussion on verbal cues and voice inflections, and how we often hear something different than what the person speaking to us actually intended on saying. To make his argument, he asked us five separate questions and we were to write our answers on paper. One of the questions was, "How many birthdays does the average human being have?" We tend to focus on the word 'average' in the above sentence, and then proceed to write our best, scientific and/or biological guess pertaining the average human lifespan. The answer? One. Humans only have one actual birthday, then we often celebrate the annual anniversary of that birthday. Hard to argue with such logic.
As this day approached over the course of the last few weeks, my wife and family asked me several times how I wanted to celebrate. My immediate reaction was to tell them I wasn't interested in celebrating, per se. I didn't really need any reminders that I am another year older, and I certainly didn't need and/or want to celebrate that fact with a lot of attention and unnecessary hoopla. As I arose this morning for my usual run, however, a thought occurred to me. Maybe I should celebrate. Maybe I should thank God for blessing me with another year of existence. Maybe I should greet this day with a celebratory attitude, and reflect a bit on this thirty-six-year-old life. After all, it's been quite the ride thus far, and while we are never guaranteed anything, all of the forthcoming events in my future and that of my family makes things look quite peachy.
So, as the dogs and I approached the end of the driveway to begin our morning trot, I lifted my face to the sky and silently prayed something of the following:
'Thank you, God, for this day. Thank you for the blessing of my thirty-six years. Thank you for providing me with a life-partner who keeps me grounded and completes me. Thank you for my kids who keep me young, make me laugh, and help me see the immense beauty in the tiny things. Thank you for my amazing family, both immediate and extended. Thank you for the blessing of friends with whom to share life-experiences. Thank you for the sunrise this morning, and the serenade of the birds. Thank you for the basics: a home, nourishment, and health. Thank you for the prospects of a bright future. Yes, Lord, thank you for this day and a thirty-sixth anniversary celebration of my birthday. Amen.'
Finally, another realization hit me square in the face early on this morning. It dawned on me just how much I enjoy recognizing and celebrating others' birthday anniversaries. Maybe I ought to think about that whilst my family and friends desire to recognize me on this day. Maybe I ought to quit being such a grump about it, and live in the moment. Thus, my resolve for today is to welcome the good wishes of others, and appreciate this thirty-six-year-anniversary-of-my-birthday.......aw, screw it - it's a birthday, for Pete's sake!
As this day approached over the course of the last few weeks, my wife and family asked me several times how I wanted to celebrate. My immediate reaction was to tell them I wasn't interested in celebrating, per se. I didn't really need any reminders that I am another year older, and I certainly didn't need and/or want to celebrate that fact with a lot of attention and unnecessary hoopla. As I arose this morning for my usual run, however, a thought occurred to me. Maybe I should celebrate. Maybe I should thank God for blessing me with another year of existence. Maybe I should greet this day with a celebratory attitude, and reflect a bit on this thirty-six-year-old life. After all, it's been quite the ride thus far, and while we are never guaranteed anything, all of the forthcoming events in my future and that of my family makes things look quite peachy.
So, as the dogs and I approached the end of the driveway to begin our morning trot, I lifted my face to the sky and silently prayed something of the following:
'Thank you, God, for this day. Thank you for the blessing of my thirty-six years. Thank you for providing me with a life-partner who keeps me grounded and completes me. Thank you for my kids who keep me young, make me laugh, and help me see the immense beauty in the tiny things. Thank you for my amazing family, both immediate and extended. Thank you for the blessing of friends with whom to share life-experiences. Thank you for the sunrise this morning, and the serenade of the birds. Thank you for the basics: a home, nourishment, and health. Thank you for the prospects of a bright future. Yes, Lord, thank you for this day and a thirty-sixth anniversary celebration of my birthday. Amen.'
Finally, another realization hit me square in the face early on this morning. It dawned on me just how much I enjoy recognizing and celebrating others' birthday anniversaries. Maybe I ought to think about that whilst my family and friends desire to recognize me on this day. Maybe I ought to quit being such a grump about it, and live in the moment. Thus, my resolve for today is to welcome the good wishes of others, and appreciate this thirty-six-year-anniversary-of-my-birthday.......aw, screw it - it's a birthday, for Pete's sake!
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