The Day Madilyn Pooped On Mommy's Toe

It has become an evening ritual on the nights when I'm at work for me to call home and chat with Mandi and the kids. Not only because I miss the evening-family-life-type activities, but because it provides an opportunity for Mandi to catch her breath a bit, and for the kids to tell me about their respective days. We all have come to look forward to that call, but last night's call was a bit peculiar. After talking to Mandi and Kaedyn, Madilyn was eager to take her turn with the phone and tell Daddy the latest in her adventures. As she excitedly rambled on, she began to tell me about something that had occurred in the bathroom, and I swear I thought she told me that she had "pooped on Mommy's toe." When I asked her to repeat herself, she said the exact same thing, to which I responded, "I see." In reality, I had no idea what she was telling me because I knew in my soul of souls there was not a chance she had actually said what I had heard her to say. The conversation went on for a few seconds longer, and Madilyn eventually handed the phone back to Mandi.

Mandi and I began chatting, and she asked me if Madilyn had told me that she had pooped on Mandi's toe. I said, "yes, but I assume that's not what she was trying to say. So, what is it that she is trying to tell me?" To my shock and utter amazement, Mandi informed me that I had heard exactly right - Madilyn really had pooped on Mandi's toe. Well, sort of. What really happened boiled down to a potty-training catastrophe. Madilyn had pooped in her pants, unbeknownst to Mandi. When Madilyn and Mandi went into the bathroom at Madilyn's appointed pottying hour, Mandi dutifully tried to help Madilyn take her pants down and as she did so, the previously mentioned poop fell out of Madilyn's underwear and onto Mandi's toe. Madilyn spent the rest of the evening talking about how she had pooped on Mommy's toe. Gotta love it! But the story doesn't end there, at least not for me.

Now, I realize that a turd landing on one's toe is certainly not an everyday-type occurrence. I would even go so far as to say it's probably not an event most people experience in an entire lifetime. Based upon these assumptions, I cannot for one second claim to really know how one might react in such a situation. However, I can venture an educated guess that the immediate thought would be to get the blasted defecation off one's damn toe! Not my wife, though. No, her immediate thought was that if she flicked the dung off her toe, she would only do herself a disservice because she would then have a spot on the carpet to have to clean. With that thought in mind, she proceeded to balance the poop on her toe as she reached for a Clorox wipe which would allow her to diffuse the situation. She attained the wipe successfully without losing the turd, removed it from her toe, and life went on.

The Day Madilyn Pooped On Mommy's Toe will live on in infamy, and most-likely has earned a spot both in our long-term memories, and in Madilyn's baby book. Care to share any poop-related stories of your own, childhood or otherwise? Now, this topic has the potential to get really messy, so to speak. So please, feel free to share, but try to keep it somewhat, uh, respectable. Thanks!

Thoughts

This last Wednesday evening saw the end of most of the school-year programs at our church, including the youth program with which I have become involved. We handed out achievement awards, played kickball, and had a genuinely good time. There was certainly a sense of excitement in the air, not unlike the last day of school, as the kids were brimming with anticipation of impending Summer activities.

Also coming to a conclusion Wednesday was an adult class my wife had been taking, called Gripped By the Greatness of God by James MacDonald. It was a seven-week course which was lead by an associate pastor at the church, and included a workbook which Mandi read out of a few times during the week in preparation for the next class. I had the opportunity to read a few of the lessons in the book from time to time, and while I was less than impressed with most of what I read, a couple of thoughts in particular seem to bother me.

Over the past several months, I have picked up on what seems to be an emerging trend in the ministry arena, that being the use of phrases such as, "God wants you to....," or, "Jesus doesn't want you to...", and you can fill in the blanks. The use of these phrases by pastors, deacons, or other church authorities seems to portray an air of supreme and/or divine knowledge to which those in the pews are not privileged. While I respect the pastors of my church as being theological authorities and sources of information and answers in the field of biblical studies, I have a hard time believing they have enough knowledge to really know what God is thinking, or what God wants of us. It seems to me the job of a pastor is to present us with a biblical lesson based on his/her understanding, and give us at least some freedom of interpretation. The use of the phrases I mentioned suggests no room for interpretation, rather, they are an absolute.

MacDonald continues this trend by splattering his discussions and workbook writings with such phrases. For example, in his discussion on page 38 of the workbook, MacDonald writes, "When it comes to communicating with His people, God wants nothing to hinder His truth from reaching us. He wants every obstacle out of the way." MacDonald believes this based on his biblical interpretations and, I would assume, some prayerful consideration, but doesn't it seem rather egotistical to tell his readers, without reservation, this is what God wants? How does he really know?

The second and much more specific issue I have with MacDonald is in regards to his take on the use of the word 'awesome.' He suggests that our culture, and specifically Christians, overuse the word to the point of ruining its intended powerful meaning. To quote from MacDonald's workbook:

Only God Is Really Awesome!

Most of us get the idea, we just don't have a clue about the magnitude of His awesomeness. When we call something awesome these days, we mean "cool" or "wow" or "what an upgrade!" Awesome is our label for everything superlative.

-"Mom, these cookies are awesome."
-"Awesome job on that project!"
-"Check out my boom box. The sub woofers are awesome!"

Then we come to church and sing, "Our God is an awesome God," and wonder why our worship falls flat. We've ruined another word. God is awesome indeed, but our flippant use of the term has made it as interesting as vanilla. At best, a cliche. Only when we encounter the One who is truly awesome - only then are we speechless.

MacDonald goes on to say that at his house, the word awesome is banned from the vocabulary except when describing God. He says to call anything else awesome is a joke. And here is where I begin to have my issue - in the paragraph following the one quoted above, MacDonald states, "Everything that is God is awesome and everything that is awesome is God." This statement is quite contradictory to what MacDonald is arguing. Re-read the last line of the paragraph in italics; MacDonald states, "Only when we encounter the One who is truly awesome - only then are we speechless." Can we not encounter God in virtually anything and everything we do? Can not my son down a fresh-baked cookie and exclaim how awesome they are, and in essence praise his Mom's God-given ability to bake? When I finish a backyard project and my wife lets me know how awesome it looks, I know she is essentially thanking God for my abilities. And guess what! There's nothing wrong with praising God through music, big sub woofers and all!!

My point is this: We are surrounded by God's wonder and amazing work in everything big, small, and seemingly insignificant. Our use of the word awesome may or may not be overused, but using it to describe something does not take away from who God is or what God means to each individual, or how each individual discovers God in day-to-day circumstances.

In conclusion, I propose that rather than spending our time worrying about our vocabulary as it relates to God, we concern ourselves more with the homeless man on the corner begging for a plate of food. Or the single mom trying to do it all herself, and struggling. Or the local food bank in need of food and/or volunteers. While you won't catch me making the assertion that this is what God wants, I will venture a guess that participating in these activities will enhance your spirituality, and put you a little more in line with some of the Biblical teachings. Heck, you just might find a side of God you never knew existed. And that, my friends, is awesome.

Let's Try This Again...

For whatever reason, the hyperlink I created on my last post for the slide show of our pictures is not working. So, I'm going to post the web page address below, and hopefully that will get you to the slide show, if you're interested. Sorry for the inconvenience.

http://www.samsphotoclub.com/share/default.asp?id=5553&sauid=30382

Spring Smiles

It's already been a busy spring in the lives of the Campbell Clan, and we have found ourselves creating lots of wonderful memories. As many of you already know, we celebrated my brother's and Mandi's sister's marriage to each other the first weekend in May. This last weekend we celebrated Korynne's first birthday. And dotted in and amongst those events were the usual Spring-time celebrations such as graduations, Mother's Day, and lots of sunshine! We have been fortunate to capture many of these events on film, and I invite you to view a little slideshow of these memories. We were unable to organize them, so they are not necessarily in order.

As previously promised, I am currently working on some more writing which I will post in the next couple of days. Thanks for your patience, and thanks for understanding!

Peace.

Apologies and Laughs

It has come to my recent attention that there are actually several folks who enjoy reading what I have to say on this blog. To those who are "regulars," I offer my apologies for the lack of consistency in new posts and writings. I have a stack of topics tucked away which I eventually want to write about, and I have just not had the time. The past few weeks have conjured up quite the whirlwind of activities, between work, weddings, graduations, and the like. I'm sure most of you can relate. Things look to be slowing down, though, and I am anxious to get back to regular blogging as it is quite therapeutic for me. Again, I apologize and at the same time, thanks for your patience and understanding.

I received an email this morning which I found quite humorous. I haven't laughed at a forwarded email in a long time, but this one had me laughing out loud. I think it deserves some space here, so enjoy!

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the tooth ache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thought for the day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES .. . . THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

Blah blah blah

Since I'm quite sure the few peeps who read this are boiling with anticipation about how things turned out this last weekend, I guess I better get to writing -

While I seemed destined to accomplish my goal of losing seventy pounds by my brother's wedding day, my body decided to slow way down towards the end of the week and I ended up falling three pounds shy. I was somewhat disappointed, only because the scale at the beginning of the week showed such promise. But alas! 'Twas not to be. To add insult to injury, with all of the beer I consumed this weekend, and the bad foods I was subjected to through the prenuptial dinner and post-prenup festivities, and the wedding itself, I have worked hard this week just to get back to where I was last week. Not good, but I've forgiven myself and moved on. My next goal is to feel confident baring my hairy chest at the water park in August. So long, man-boobs!

More importantly, my bro's wedding was quite the adventure. For those who are unaware, my brother married my wife's sister. Before you turn up your nose, or shout the in-bred redneck comments, just take a deep breath, sit down, and think about that for a second. There really isn't anything wrong with one's brother marrying one's wife's sister. It's perfectly okay.

Right?

We had a great rehearsal Friday night, then it was on to the bar to karaoke and imbibe. We nearly closed the joint down, and went home to rest up for Saturday. After a long day of kid-tracking, pictures, and best-man duties, the appointed hour arrived. As the ceremony began, so did the rain, and what a rain it was. More like a monsoon, really. Lincoln was flooded in several areas, the likes of which our area hasn't seen in many years. Cars floating, creeks overflowing, debris washed away. It finally quit about the time our limo arrived to take the wedding party for a ride, and as we stepped outside to get in, we witnessed a tornado forming off to the north. I have no idea how far off it was, but it was quite the amazing sight. The photographer got a picture of the wedding party with the tornado in the background, which I will post as soon as I have access to it.

The reception went off without a hitch, and the following evening we met as a family to watch the new couple open gifts. Chris and Kristin left Omaha on Monday morning, bound for their honeymoon in Riviera Maya. Life is back to normal here in L-Town, or at least as normal as life gets with three kids who are boundless, endless balls of energy.

My day is winding down now, and we have just put Lincoln's newest little one-year-old to bed. Korynne celebrated this evening with a trip to the park with her family, and then her first full-blown chocolate ice-cream cone. Okay, so, it wasn't really her own. But she had a ball helping me eat mine! Her party is next Saturday morning, and I'm quite sure it'll be a landmark event. As Mandi alluded to earlier, it seems hard to imagine it's already been a year since we were in the hospital having just welcomed Korynne to our lives. She is such a little lovebug, and we can't imagine life without her.

Okay, I'm closing this post now. I am all over the place tonight, with no real purpose but to just blab. Peace, grace, and love.

So Close...

As my brother's wedding day quickly approaches, it seems like a good time to post an update on my healthier living efforts. When I started making lifestyle changes on January 1st of this year, my goal was to lose 70 pounds by the time I had to don the tuxedo. I knew such a feat would be pretty tough considering the wedding, at the time, was a mere 17 weeks away. But I also knew that I had a whole bunch of weight to lose, and I theorized that it would melt away provided that I stay true to the changes I had decided to make. My efforts were going quite well until last week, when I seemed to hit a plateau, if you will. I only lost a pound, which was the smallest drop I've had since I began the journey, and left me with about 8 1/2 pounds to go to achieve my goal. Honestly, I had all but thrown in the towel as I figured there was no way I could drop that much in just a week. Oh, I was still going to bust my ass as hard as I always had, but had accepted the reality of just missing my first goal.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning. I thought I would step on the scale just to see what kind of progress I was making, if any. It seems as though my body has broken from whatever holding pattern it was in, and has responded very well. I'm only 3 pounds away now from making my goal, and I think I stand a good chance of actually achieving it. Of course, you (and I) will have to wait until the official weigh-in on Saturday morning to find out if it all comes to pass. Oh, the anticipation! Oh, the agony!

See ya after the weekend!